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PUBLISHED BY 

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UNCLE JONAS. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS, 



BY / 

JONAH COOK, 

KDITOR HARPER SENTINEL. 



ti 



;F cowans 
4 1891 J) ' 



HARPER, KANSAS. 

HARPER SENTINEL, PUBLISHER. 

1 89I. 



?3 \S7% 



Copyright, 1891, 

BY 

JONAS COOK. 



TO THE PUBLIC. 

The articles contained in this little volume 
appeared in the Harper Sentinel during 
the fall and winter of 1890 and '91. They 
were received with such favor that their 
author concluded to put them in book form. 

In the hope that those who read this little 
book may find some thoughts worthy of 
attention the author gives it to the public. 

Jonas Cook. 
Harper, Kansas, May 10, 1891. 



CONTENTS. 




Opposition, . 


i 


Gone to Seed, .... 


3 


Who are Patriots? ... 


6 


How, ..... 


9 


Rashness of the Month, 


1 3 


Will it Pay? .... 


*7 


Keep Off the Grass, . 


22 


Buzzard and Humming Bird, 


27 


Good People, .... 


3 r 


Studying Human Nature, 


35 


Where Are They? 


4i 


Stray Thoughts, 


46 


If, 


49 


Drag the Rake, Boys, 


53 


Growing Apart, 


57 


Public Speaking and Public Speakers 


62 


Seeing, . . . . 


■ 67 


What Man Can Do, . . 


7i 


Conversation, .... 


74 


Resolutions, .... 


79 


Formers and Reformers, 


82 


Home Over Here, 


87 



OPPOSITION. 

Opposition, my dear friends, is not the 
worst thing that can come to a man. In 
fact, it is more frequently a benefit than an 
injur}'. It is too often the case that the very 
things we want and the very principles we 
advocate would be the worst for us if we 
should get them. 

The little child that tries to grasp the burn- 
ing lamp would be badly injured, were it not 
for the mother's opposition. The boy's kite 
would fall to the ground were it not for the 
opposition of the wind. 

Had the English government not opposed 
the colonists, America might be to-day feed- 
ing the British lion and trembling at his roar. 
Had not Jefferson Davis opposed the terms of 
Lincoln's emancipation proclamation, the 
auction block with all its horrors and the 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



cruel lash upon the back of the slave, might 
be things of the present instead of the past. 

Opposition shows a man his weak points, 
and if he is made of good material, he will 
seek to strengthen his weakness and rise 
above obstacles thrown in his way. 

Opposition awakens thought, stimulates 
ambition and leads onward and upward. 

Do not, my dear friends, confound persecu- 
tion and oppression with opposition. They 
are very different things. Opposition may be 
void of both malice and injustice. 

The fond mother who holds the nose of her 
child while she forces it to take medicine in 
opposition to its wishes, is not prompted by 
any malicious or unjust feeling toward it, but 
she knows she must oppose the child's wishes 
in order to accomplish its greatest good. 

Just so in life, if we will but look beyond 
our feelings into our reason and judgment, 
we will find that opposition is more frequently 
a benefit than an injury. 



GONE TO SEED. 

My Dear Friends: Yon, no doubt, have 
heard and used the expression "gone to seed" 
in reference to the vegetables in your garden. 
Did you ever think what it means? When a 
plant has gone to seed, it simply means 
it has ceased to grow, and all that is left of it 
are the germs or seeds of reproduction. In 
fact, the plant has finished its mission here, 
and will soon return to nourish mother earth 
whence it came. 

Have you ever observed that there are a 
great many people in this world who are like 
the plants — they have gone to seed? 

In fact, the world is full of men and women 
who have ceased to grow, socially, morally, 
or intellectually, and it may be justly said of 
them, they have gone to seed. 

In your mind's eye, my dear friends, look 
across the barbed-wire fence into the field 
known as school teaching, and see how many 
of your acquaintances in that vocation have 
gone to seed. Do you not find men and 
women there who do not seem to have im- 
proved one iota by long years in the school 
room? Do you not even find that they know 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



no more now than they did when yon first 
formed their acquaintance? 

Well, these folks are done growing-. The 
vital sap has ceased to circulate, and they 
have gone to seed, and ought to be removed 
from the school room. 

Now, cast your eye around you and see 
how many lawyers there are who belong to 
that class who have gone to seed. Do you 
not see them on all sides? Do yon not ob- 
serve that a majority of them have settled 
clown to a kind of routine business which re- 
quires no effort that will cause them to reach 
out in their profession? Well, these fellows 
have gone to seed, and are of but little use to 
society — except as consumers of agricultural 
products, and swellers of the census. If dying 
naturally was an act of the will, they could 
benefit society by performing that act. 

Now, my dear friends, meander with your 
Uncle Jonas in the theological garden for a 
few minutes, and let us look around and see 
how many plants are there that have gone to 
seed. Don't you see a great many who have 
ceased to receive nourishment from the fertile 
soil of the Sermon on the Mount, and have 
gone to seed on creed? Yea, verily, it has 
ever been thus. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



But, my dear friends, let us leave this gar- 
den and go into the political field. There is 
no place where so many human plants who 
have gone to seed can be found as in politics. 
In fact, they have shot to seed so quickly that 
the seed is not even sound, and but few of 
them in the pod; and the pod often gaps open, 
and as the wind whistles through it, nothing 
is heard save the sound of emptiness. The 
average human plant grows but little politi- 
cally. It may be on account of the soil in 
which it is planted — but be that as it may, 
you will observe that this field is full of human 
plants that have gone to seed. 

Yes, my dear friends, you will find in all 
the gardens of life a great many plants that 
have gone to seed, and many of them have 
become so old that they rattle in the pod. 

There is no need of so many people ceasing 
to grow intellectually as there are. There is 
enough food for thought to keep them grow- 
ing, were it not for pure, unadulterated mental 
laziness. 

Your Uncle Jonas advises you not to go to 
seed too early in life. 



WHO ARE PATRIOTS ? 

My Dear Friends: There seems to be an 
opinion in this fair land of ours that war and 
gunpowder, shot and shell, sword and bayo- 
net, grapeshot and canister, blood and carnage 
must, in some way, be connected with a 
man's history before he is entitled to the 
crown of a patriot. 

There seems to be an idea that in times of 
peace, patriots do not exist, and that a man 
must smell gunpowder on the field of battle, 
or cool coffee around a camp-fire if he would 
deserve to be called a patriot. 

Your Uncle is aware that the man who goes 
forth to defend his country when it is threat- 
ened by an enemy deserves praise and honor, 
and he generally gets it if he has to give it to 
himself. 

But, you, no doubt, have observed that 
there are a great many men who want to own 
the country they have defended in time of 
war, and by their actions and conduct after 
peace has been declared, are doing but little 
to preserve in peace what they won in battle. 

Yes, my dear friends, it was patriotic for 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



men to face the cannon's mouth in order that 
u cur country should be kept upon the map of 
the world and our flag floating in the breezes of 
heaven.' 1 It was a duty they owed to their 
homes and the generations to follow, — but it 
is not patriotism for any class of men to ask 
too much for doing their duty. 

No nation under the broad canopy of heaven 
has been as grateful to her soldiers as this 
nation has been and is at the present day. 

Your Uncle desires to see every man who 
was disabled while defending his country, 
cared for proper!}', — but he has little respect 
for that man who spends his pension mone)' 
for beer and liquor and transforms his home 
into a hell. He is not a patriot now who acts 
thus — even though he left a part of his anat- 
omy upon the battle field. 

There is such a thing as asking too much. 
There is such a thing as patriots being trans- 
formed into mendicants and demanding pay 
for services which they never rendered. Like 
a man in Pennsylvania who applied for a 
pension because his substitute was wounded. 

Are not the man and woman who make 
their home happy — who rear a good, honest, 
truthful, intelligent family — who lead a 
straightforward life, wronging no one — 



8 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

building a national defence which grows 
stronger as time passes by, just as good and 
noble patriots as they who shoulder a musket 
and go forth to battle? 

Your Uncle Jonas has but little use for a 
patriotism that only swells on the 4th of July 
and Decoration Day. He likes a patriotism 
that will build happy and prosperous homes, 
— a patriotism that will cause men to edu- 
cate their children — a patriotism that will 
purify the ballot box — a patriotism that will 
purify the voter. 

When this nation has that kind of patriots 
in time of peace, she will never have cause 
for cruel war. My dear friends, are you 
patriots? 



HOW. 

My Dear Friends: Your Uncle has ob- 
served that people receive more in this world 
for knowing how to do work than for doing it. 

A large manufacturing establishment was 
once closed down because the engine and 
machinery, from some unknown cause, would 
not do their work. The men in charge 
sought in vain to learn the trouble, and repair 
where necessary — but they could not find the 
cause of the engine's refusing to do its work. 
Workmen by the scores were standing idle 
and the owners of the establishment had 
large contracts that were to be filled — a fail- 
ure of which meant financial disaster. 

There was a skillful and ingenious man 
living in the city. He was sent for and came. 
He examined the machinery, loosened a nut 
here, and tightened one there, scrutinizing 
everything with eye and ear, and in a short 
time the machinery was in motion and the 
men all at work. 

He was called to the office and asked what 
he charged for repairing the machinery.. He 
replied, "I worked two and one half hours, 



IO UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

for which I charge $2.50, — but for knowing 
how to do it, I charge you $97.50. Total, 
$100.00. " 

The bill was paid without a murmur and 
money saved the owners by so doing. 

My dear friends, your Uncle Jonas has 
observed that the person who knows how to 
do work, can do it much more easily, and 
with less waste of muscular power than he 
who attempts to do it by "main strength and 
awkwardness." 

The physician who examines your pulse 
and writes you a prescription does not charge 
you much for his work, but he charges for 
knowing how. If a leg or arm is to be am- 
putated, a common butcher with his saw 
could do the job so far as the mere work is 
concerned as easily as he can saw a beef bone 
— but the surgeon is called because lie knows 
how to do it without endangering the life of 
the person. 

My dear friends, this age demands more of 
a person than mere muscular power. He 
must be skilled in some way. He must 
know how to use his strength to a purpose. 
His education must be not only of the hand, 
but of the head also. 

The winds of heaven sported overhead for 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 1 1 

thousands of years before man learned how 
to yoke them to the piston of his pump and 
make them do his bidding. 

It took thousands of years for man to dis- 
cover how to imprison steam and make it 
"turn with tireless arm the countless wheels 
of toil." 

Many centuries came and went, before 
man learned how to capture electricity and 
make it the fleetest messenger the world has 
ever known. 

Your Uncle has oftimes thought that the 
forces which seem so potent of evil would be 
just as potent of good if we only knew how to 
apply them. The same knife that cuts your 
bread and meat might cut your throat. It 
all depends upon how it is applied. 

My dear friends, when you are passing 
along your journey of life, you will find that 
it is of just as much importance for you to 
know how to do and how to act, as it is for 
you to know what to do and when and where 
to do it. 

The average man's "hindsight is much 
better than his foresight" and it does not 
take much ability to explain how a thing was 
done after it is done. 

The world is full of men who are standing 



12 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

with their panels thrust into the pockets of 
their jeans up to the elbows, and informing 
the dear people what ought to be done, but 
have not even the ghost of an idea how it 
can be accomplished. 

The eminent lawyer receives a large fee for 
knowing how to handle his case; the emi- 
nent teacher for knowing how to teach and 
manage; the eminent preacher for knowing 
how to preach, and so on from Alpha to 
Omaha. 

So, my dear friends, if you desire to be- 
come something more than a mere "thing of 
beauty and a jaw forever," you must com- 
mingle your thoughts with your work — you 
must plan and execute — you must study how 
to do and then do it. 



RASHNESS OF THE MOUTH. 

My Dear Friends: No doubt, you have 
observed that there is a disease which is very 
contagious, and which exists in every clime 
that the wand of civilization has touched, 
and for want of a medical term your Uncle 
will call it "Rashness of the Mouth." 

There are a great number of people afflicted 
with it, and a much larger number afflicted 

BY it. 

In some cases it is hereditary and in other 
cases it is acquired. 

It quite often kills the victim who is 
afflicted with it and cripples those who are 
afflicted by it. This rashness of the mouth is 
sometimes cured by the fellow's fist who is 
affected by it, coming in contact with the 
person's mouth who has it, with such force as 
to horizontalize his perpendicularity. 

Eike the consumption, it steals unawares 
upon people and gnaws at their social life to 
such an extent that their eyes become gan- 
grened with hatred — they lose confidence in 
their fellow beings, and there is a breaking out 



14 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

at the mouth, and the air is filled with social 
and moral miasma. 

When a person has a bad case of rashness 
of the mouth it is generally accompanied by 
a very fertile imagination, which leads him 
to talk about everybody's business but his 
own, and does it, too, in an uncomplimentary 
manner. 

This afflicted class generally obey the fol- 
lowing injunctions: 

" Tell your neighbors all you know, 

Who it was that told you so; 
Talk to this ou<\ talk to that, 
Learn your story, get it pat." 

This disease is very contagious among peo- 
ple who have more mouth than brains. 

This rashness of the mouth is quite often 
preceded by two other diseases; namely: 
petrifaction of the heart and putrefaction of 
the brain. 

My dear friends, to be honest in this mat- 
ter, we are all more or less afflicted with the 
rashness of the mouth. We too Often are 
ready and willing without thinking what the 
result will be, to assist in circulating an evil 
report on our fellow beings before we know 
whether it is true or not. 

The little verse which follows your Uncle 
committed some years ago: 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 1 5 

"First somebody told it, 

Then the room wouldn't hold it; 
And the busy tongues rolled it, 

Till they got it outside. 
When the crowd came across it, 

They never once lost it, 
But tossed it and tossed it, 

Till it grew l$ng and wide." 

How often do people become rash at the 
mouth because somebody told this or that 
and before the truth could be learned, it 
grows "long and wide." 

When an evil report is heard, my dear 
friends, would it not be best for us to ask, "Is 
it true?" and if true, "Is it a benefit to socie- 
ty to tell it?" If these two questions were 
asked candidly, your Uncle believes that 
there would be fewer cases of the rashness of 
the mouth than there are. 

"Speak gently to the erring — know. 

They may have toiled in vain; 
Perchance unkindness made them so. 

Oh, win them back again." 

My dear friends, this rashness of the mouth 
has destroyed the happiness of many a home. 
It has changed love into hatred. It has ar- 
rayed husband against wife — children against 
parents — friend against friend. It has often 
taken out of life all that is worth living for, 
and obscured the Star of Hope in life's firma- 



l6 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

ment and left nothing- but the darkness of 
despair. 

When your Uncle sees some poor wayfar- 
ing person who has strayed from the path of 
duty and who has lost his self-respect, he of- 
ten thinks it may be moje the fault of society 
— more the fault of the rashness of other's 
mouths than that of his own. Many persons 
are too weak to bear the severe censure of 
their fellow beings without straying from the 
path of duty. 

My dear friends, your Uncle Jonas advises 

you to be careful how you handle words. 

They are dangerous things. "The tongue 

has cut off more heads than the sword." 

When you feel that you are about to be seized 

with rashness of the mouth, as an antidote 

ponder well the following verse of Will 

Carlton: 

"Boys flying kites may haul in their white- 
winged birds, 
You can't do that way when you are flying words. 
'Cai*eful with fire' is good advice, I know, 
'Careful with words' is teu times doubly so. 
Thoughts unexpressed may fall back dead, 
God, himself, cannot kill them when they're; said. 

Yes, the small pox is preferable to a severe 

case of the rashness of the mouth. 



WILL IT PAY ? 

My Dear Friends: When the Creator stood 
with* the clay in his hands and the idea in 
his mind ready to make man in his own 
image, it is likely that he asked himself the 
question, Will it pay? 

Will it pay to create a being capable of 
loving and hating, hoping and fearing — capa- 
ble of doing right and wrong — capable of 
bearing pleasure and pain — capable of ascend- 
ing the scale of progression or descending to 
the depths of degradation? 

Man who was made in the image of his 
Maker generally asks himself, when abont to 
do anything, "Will it pay?" "Wherein will 
I be benefited if I pursue this or that course?" 
"Will it pay for me to undertake this enter- 
prise or will I reap a greater reward by doing 
something else?" 

These questions, your Uncle has observed, 
have been asked by men viewing the rewards 
from different standpoints. The majority of 
men when they propound the question, Will 
it pay? to themselves have in mind a mate- 
rial reward — one of dollars and cents. They 
seem to look upon the accumulation of prop- 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



erty to satisfy some personal or selfish ambi- 
tion as the only real answer to the question, 
Will it pay? They have a greater desire to 
rise above their fellow man than to raise him 
to a higher plane in the social world. 

My dear friends, the greatest reward for 
work does not always come in dollars and 
cents, but in the full consciousness of having 
assisted others or having aided your fellow 
man to a nobler life. 

You cannot afford to neglect the little acts 
of kindness toward your associates — you can- 
not afford to neglect to speak a kind word to 
those you daily meet — many of whom are 
soul-sick and almost too weak to bear the 
burdens of life. Will it pay to withhold from 
such the balm of sympathy which will 
encourage them to better deeds? 

Too many people believe in immediate 
returns for their work — the Jonah's gourd 
kind that comes in a night, and they do not 
seem to think that it will pay to cast their 
bread upon the waters with the expectation 
that it will return after many days. 

A number of years ago (pardon reference 
to self) your Uncle was the teacher of a 
young man who had but little home attrac- 
tions. He longed to tear himself away from 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 1 9 

his country home, so he came to town and in 
a short time was frequenting the saloons — a 
thing that was not considered in that place as 
being much disgrace if any. Being confi- 
dent of the fact that the boy had a great deal 
of respect for his teacher's opinion, your 
Uncle met him alone one clay when about the 
following advice was given him in the most 
friendly manner: "I saw you going in and 
coming out of saloons several times. You 
cannot ever expect to become much of a man 
if you frequent such places. I presume you 
have been drinking some. I do not fault 
you for going in to see what is there — but 
you ought not to go as a customer. Look 
around you and see the men in this town who 
a few years ago were honored and respected 
and whom you now know as drunkards. 
Now, when you get out by yourself, I want 
you to ask yourself this question, 'Can I 
afford to take any risks in becoming like 
them?' " 

Years after the above advice was given and 
the boy had gone out into the busy world, 
and your Uncle had lost trace of him, a letter 
came stating that he had a good position 
paying him one hundred dollars per month, 
and amongst other things he wrote, "I have 



20 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

never tasted an intoxicating drink since the 
day you gave me that little advice, and I 
suppose if it had not been for you I would 
be a drunkard." 

My dear friends, there was no money in 
the above work for your Uncle, — but he has 
been paid a thousand fold for what he did for 
that boy. 

Will it pay to let .boys and girls, young 
men and young women go to ruin when but 
a few words given in the proper spirit, by 
the right person at the right time, in the 
right manner and at the right place, will 
save them? 

Will it pay to follow a business that simply 
clothes the back and feeds the stomach? Do 
not think for a moment your Uncle Jonas 
would take from man the desire to accumu- 
late property and make money — for by obser- 
vation he has learned that those who work to 
accumulate wealth are amongst the best peo- 
ple on earth. But men can work arid accu- 
mulate and not neglect to assist those around 
them who need advice — who need a word of 
encouragement — who need sympathy. 

Too many men have fallen into the habit 
of passing by boys without noticing them — 
snubbing them on every occasion. It does 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 21 

not pay to act thus. These boys soon become 
men, and an injustice or an uncalled for snub 
done a boy, he never forgets it when he 
becomes a man. Your Uncle is now speak- 
ing from experience. 

My dear friends, will it pay to treat your 
fellow man in an uncivil manner? Will it 
pay to be selfish and arrogant? Will it pay 
never to lend a helping hand to those in 
need? Will it pay to use any power you 
may possess for any other purpose than to 
promote the best possible good? Will it pay 
to accumulate wealth at the expense of hon- 
esty and the true principles of manhood? 
Will it pay to conduct yourself in such a 
manner that when old age — the time for 
reflection — comes upon you that you will be 
forced to review a life full of selfish deeds? 



KEEP OFF THE GRASS. 

My Dear Friends: Did you ever pass 
through a public park without seeing on 
every turn the command to "keep off the 
grass?" This sign is stuck up everywhere 
in cities until people are almost led to believe 
that grass is not to be trod upon at all. 

At the opening of the Chicago schools a 
few weeks ago, a little six- year-old boy who 
had spent the most of the summer in the parks 
and had been compelled to stare at the keep- 
off-the-grass placards, started to school and 
the teacher was talking to her pupils con- 
cerning the earth and the many beautiful 
things that grow thereon, and while she was 
speaking of the beautiful grass that covers 
the earth like a carpet, one little hand came 
up and he said: "Teacher, I know what 
grass is." 

The teacher smiling, asked "What is it, 
Charlie?" 

Charlie replied, "Grass is something that 
people must keep off of." 

Your Uncle never sees one of these keep- 
off-the-grass cards that he does not feel like 
tramping it. While he is aware that it is 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 23 

necessary sometimes to say "Thus far — but 
no farther," yet people are ordered to keep 
off the grass by so many commanders that 
have commissioned themselves to give orders 
and their right is only assumed. 

My dear friends, while your Uncle has 
been roaming around in the green pastures of 
society, lo, these many years, he has been 
confronted with this same keep-off-the-grass 
spirit that is to be seen on placards in the 
park. 

If a man or class of men resolve to cut 
loose from an old political party, even though 
its principles have lost their usefulness by 
time, there will be a howl go up in loud tones 
that the}' keep off the grass and return to the 
beaten paths of their old party. The self- 
constituted policemen of the old party will 
swing their political maces of sneers and 
abuse above their heads and command all to 
keep off the grass in the political park. 

Occasionally a barbed wire is stretched 
between the grass and the beaten path, so he 
who attempts to cross over into the green 
pastures may rend his garments. 

This keep-off-the-grass card is also seen in 
the religious parks of the world, and the man 
or class of men in all ages, who have strayed 



24 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

from the paths of the majority have been 
called upon to keep in line and not trample 
on the grass on either side. 

Yes, my friends, the parks of society in 
this world are filled with orders to keep off 
the grass. 

When Dr. Harvey announced to the world 
that the blood of man circulated in his body 
the entire medical fraternity yelled at him to 
keep off the grass. To-day there is not a 
physician in the land but what knows that 
Dr. Harvey was correct in his statement. 

When our Revolutionary fathers sought to 
establish a "government for the people, of 
the people, and by the people,'' a pusillani- 
mous, bull-headed king ordered them to keep 
off the grass, and he attempted to enforce his 
order by the "last argument to which kings 
resort." 

Your Uncle has observed that there are too 
many cards posted up in this world telling 
people what not to do instead of telling them 
what to do. In society matters people bow 
to customs quite often that are as absurd as 
anything can be, simply for fear that they 
may trample on the grass outside of the worn 
path. 

Public opinion is a mediocre — a tyrant 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 25 

quite often that would crush out all progress 
if possible. Public opinion has transformed 
many a budding genius into a blatant hypo- 
crite. Your Uncle is aware, however, that a 
good healthy public opinion is the conserva- 
tive power — the balance-wheel of society — 
yet there is a great deal of public opinion 
that is not of a good healthy kind, judging 
from the effect it produces. 

This keep-off-the-grass card is found in too 
many homes. Your Uncle has visited houses 
that were called homes where the children 
were not allowed to enjoy themselves for fear 
of soiling the carpet, scarring the furniture, 
or tearing the lace curtains. They could not 
turn around without being told "to be care- 
ful/ ' "don't do that," "that's naughty," 
"don't soil the carpet," etc., etc., until the 
sweet milk of concord in the household had 
become sour, and home (?) had no charms 
for them. 

My dear friends, men have always differed 
in opinion on great and small subjects, and 
your Uncle is glad such is true, but that is 
no reason men should not be tolerant with 
each other — that is no reason men should 
hate each other — that is no reason they 
should order each other to keep off the grass. 



26 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

The continent of Thought is infinitely 
large, and there is room for all without each 
person putting up the sign keep off the grass 
and as time goes by and men become truly 
civilized, as your Uncle believes they will, 
then, and not till then, will people no more 
be ordered to keep off the grass. 



BUZZARD AND HUMMING-BIRD. 

My Dear Friends: Many years ago when 
your Uncle was a small boy living among the 
vine-clad hills of his eastern Ohio home, he 
was cutting down mullen stalks which had 
grown upon the field; and beautiful flowers 
were in bloom and all nature was giving evi- 
dence that autumn was at hand. The 
orchard near by was groaning under its load 
of Wall-dower, Rambo and other apples of 
the choicest kind. The robin and swallow 
were preparing to migrate to a warmer clime. 
The busy bee was chasing from flower to 
flower, gathering his winter store of honey. 
The crow was cawing in the woods beyond. 
The frisky little squirrel was chattering as he 
stored away the nuts. The grasshopper was 
ceasing to be a burden and the little ant was 
hurrying to and fro busy with its work which 
no human can understand, and as your Uncle 
lay there under the old wild cherry tree, his 
scythe by his side watching these members 
of the lower creation and dreaming only such 
day visions as boys can dream, a great large 
buzzard came flying over his head. He 



28 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

watched it as it balanced itself upon the 
atmospheric sea and sailed as gracefully as 
a ship over the placid waters of a lake. It 
seemed to take no notice of the flowers that 
were blooming in the fields or the beauties 
of nature that were around on every side. 
But in a short time it saw the object of its 
search and hovering above it for a moment 
then lighted upon it. 

It was the carcass of an old dead sheep 
which lay in one corner of the field. Your 
Uncle watched it as it feasted with a great 
deal of delight upon the putrid flesh, the 
stench of which but a short time before had 
driven the boy who was lying beneath the 
wild cherry tree from that portion of the field. 
While musing over the strange nature of the 
buzzard and chiding it for lacking in taste, a 
beautiful little humming-bird came flitting 
by, diving its tiny bill into a flower here and 
hovering over a flower there, and sipping the 
nectar and in a gleesome manner seeming to 
enjoy the beauties which surrounded it on 
every side. 

The buzzard having satisfied its appetite 
sailed away and was seen no more. The 
humming-bird was soon lost to sight, and the 
boy picked up his scythe and resumed his 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 29 

work of cutting the mullen, little thinking 
then that he had gathered food for thought 
from the buzzard and the humming-bird 
which in after years could be applied as a 
lesson in life. 

My dear friends, long years have come and 
gone since that day, and as your Uncle has 
traveled over many states which then had no 
location to him except on the map in his text- 
book in geography, he has seen and met some 
human buzzards who fly over the field of 
society, which is filled with many beautiful 
things, scenting the air not for the pure, but 
for the putrid and decaying matter they may 
find. These human buzzards, though few in 
number, may be seen moving about every 
day with no eye to see that which is good — 
no scent to smell that which is wholesome — 
no desire to partake of that which is pure. 
On the other hand, your Uncle has seen and 
met ninety-nine human humming-birds to one 
buzzard, who like the humming-bird of his 
boyhood days fly over the field and see the 
beauties — taste of the sweets, and never once 
think of feasting upon the dead and putrefy- 
ing bodies that lie in the fence corners of this 
field of human society. 

My dear friends, you can each transform 



30 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

yourself into a human buzzard if you desire — 
you can educate yourself to see nothing that 
is pure, noble, and good in your fellow man 
— you can make yourself miserable by refusing 
to taste of the sweets of life, or you each can 
be a humming-bird if you so desire — you can 
educate yourself to see that there is a great 
deal more good than evil — more of the pure 
than of the impure — more happiness than 
unhappiness in this field of human society. 

The buzzard of the bird kingdom no doubt 
has a mission to perform which is of as much 
importance as that of the humming-bird's, but 
this buzzard never feasts on anything until it 
is really dead, while the human buzzard 
preys quite often upon the supposed dead and 
putrid matter of society. 

Your Uncle leaves this subject with you 
allowing you each to choose for yourself 
whether you will be a buzzard or humming- 
bird in society. 



GOOD PEOPLE. 

My Dear Friends: When yon go home 
after your day's work is done yon are apt to 
sit down and think of the mean things that 
your fellow-men have done that day. You 
are apt to think harshly of the acts or imag- 
ined acts of those you have met. Man is 
prone to consider that his fellow-man is seek- 
ing to take some advantage of him wl^en, in 
fact, these thoughts are too often but a reflec- 
tion of self. 

When you go home some evening sit down 
in solitude, with a lead pencil in hand, and 
write out the names of those you met that 
day, and when you have done that, then 
draw a line across the names of those who 
have done you an injury or mistreated you in 
any way, and your Uncle will venture the 
assertion that you will be surprised how few 
the number. 

Why, my dear friends, this world is so full 
of good and noble people that it is sometimes 
a pleasure, by way of change, to meet a 
person who has a surplus of pure, unadulter- 
ated meanness about him and in him. It has 



32 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

a tendency to make one appreciate good 
people. 

Yonr Uncle has been a resident of this city 
more than three years, and he meets hun- 
dreds of different persons every day, and 
some days thousands, and in all that time he 
has met but one man in this city whom he 
positively knows has done him an injury. 
But when he thinks over how much a mean 
man must suffer for his meanness — how 
dreadful it must be for a person to be in com- 
pany^vith mean thoughts concerning himself 
— he would rather be the one who is mis- 
treated than he who mistreats. In such a 
case it is more blessed to receive than to give. 

But, oh, how many good people has your 
Uncle met in the same time. As he passes 
up and down the streets daily he often thinks 
the world is full of good people, and he has 
no desire to leave it. He feels like the 
Kansas farmer when attending a revival 
meeting, and the minister called on all those 
who wanted to go to heaven to rise. All 
rose but the farmer, and when the minister 
walked down the aisle with the lachrymose 
substance trickling down his cheeks, and 
taking the farmer by the hand said: "My 
dear brother, when I asked all to rise who 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 33 

wanted to go to heaven, yon did not get up. 
Why this thusness?" 

The farmer replied in tones that could be 
heard all over the house, u Wal, Til tell you. 
I want to stay right here in Kansas. This is 
good enough for me." 

This is a kind old world and kind people 
living in it, if you only do your part. 

Of course, mistakes are often made and 
wrongs done, but it may be that these are 
what make us love the right and the true. 
The most of the evil in this world is too often 
imaginary. 

Mr. Shakespeare says, "There is nothing 
either right or wrong but thinking makes it 
so." 

Your Uncle does not wholly agree with 
Shakespeare, yet he thinks that nine times 
out of ten his saying just quoted is true. 

Persons too often consider other people 
mean and wicked, simply because they 
oppose them or their views on some subject. 
Those who oppose us are sometimes our best 
friends in disguise. When your Uncle was a 
callow youth, he fell clear up to his ears in 
love with a freckle-faced girl — but it was 
"sweetness wasted on the desert air," for she 
loved another, and the day they committed 



34 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

matrimony in the first degree, your Uncle 
thought them the meanest couple on earth. 
He has often met that couple together with 
their numerous progeny since that eventful 
day, and he now feels like falling on the neck 
of that man and weeping tears of joy down 
his spine. What was supposed to be an 
injury was only made so by thinking. 

My dear friends, you will see that your 
thinking that the people you meet are mean 
is about all the evidence you have that so 
many are mean. You should rejoice that 
every person you meet does not agree with 
you in your opinions, for some of your ideas 
you will find to be very crude; and besides, 
the world needs the diversity of opinions, of 
acts, of plans, in order to bring about the 
best results. 

The lesson your Uncle wants to teach you 
in this talk is to have faith in your fellow- 
men. Don't condemn the whole human race 
because you meet a few people whom you 
know to be absolutely mean. Don't go 
through this beautiful world wearing green 
glasses and contending that everything you 
see is green. Don't go through the world 
pulling the mote out of your neighbor's eye 
while there is a beam in your own. This 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 35 

world has many good people. Are you 
amongst the number? 



STUDYING HUMAN NATURE. 

My Dear Friends: Have you ever been a^ 
student of human nature? Have you ever 
noticed that the general make-up of people is 
an index of what they will do or say? Of 
course, education will do much toward 
removing some inherent disposition to do 
certain things, but not always. 

Let us stroll down here on the corner and 
observe the people that pass by. 

Do you see that man coming there with 
his toes turned in, or what is called pigeon- 
toed?" Well, he is a man that cannot be 
convincd. He knows it all, or at least knows 
more than any other man can tell him. He, 
in his mind, has had a wonderful experience, 
and has done wonderful things in his time. 



36 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

It is a waste of time to try to argue with or 
convince men who walk that way. They 
are one-idead. 

Now, that man you see coming there with 
his head above the level and chin pointing 
forward is a person who wants to run things. 
He wants to rule and if he can't do that he 
tries to ruin; and that small, very small-eared 
man passing by is so stingy that he won't 
eat what his system demands. Such a man 
will wear a dicky and grow a wart on the 
back of his neck and use it for a collar button 
to keep down expenses. 

That woman who passed by just now was 
about one step ahead of her husband. Did 
you notice her lips? They are as thin as the 
blade of a table knife. She has a ring in her 
husband's nose, and those thin lips bespeak 
a temper that is a terror to that poor man. 
May the Lord have mercy on him when she 
gets mad, for she will not. 

Look at those two young women standing 
there, each peeling a peach. Do you see that 
one on the left cuts right in and throws half 
the pulp away with the peeling? Well, she 
has an extravagant nature and the young 
man who commits matrimony with her wants 
to have plenty about the larder. That other 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 37 

one, you see, peels it so very thin. She has 
a very saving disposition. 

Did you notice that man step clear to the 
edge of the sidewalk to let those ladies pass, 
while there was plenty of room for them to 
have turned to the other side a little and not 
crowded anyone? That man gets out of 
everybody's way. If those ladies had moved 
a little nearer to him he would have gotten 
clear off the walk. He is one of those men 
who feel like apologizing for being on earth. 
He never does anything of his own accord 
except get out of the way of others. 

Look at that bald-headed man there who 
has just removed his hat. Do you observe 
how high his head is right at the middle 
point on top? A head like that denotes an 
extremist. When such men belong to church 
they can be heard half a mile when they 
pray and when they get mad at the church 
they can be heard swear at a greater distance. 
They generally talk loud and long. They 
are impulsive and apt to go to extremes when 
excited. They can't help it, for they were 
made that way. 

Now, that fellow coming yonder striking 
his heels against the sidewalk instead of lift- 
in them up is a poor shiftless man and will 



38 UNCLE JONAvS TALKS. 



always be so. It is almost a waste of bread 
for him to eat and live. He does not amount 
to anything. 

There, do yon not see that young lady 
coining down the street, hippy-skippy-nippy- 
nappy, swinging her head in every direction? 
She is a silly little creature and would do well 
enough if she would never grow old. She 
lacks stability. 

There, did you hear those men laugh? 
Did you observe that one of them hee-hawed 
like a Balaam's ass? Well, he is a coarse 
man. Now, that other man to his right who 
broke forth at first with a loud laugh and 
then tapered off to a simper, he always begins 
a new job of work with a great spurt and 
"peters out" before he gets through. If he 
decided to sow seventy-five acres of wheat 
this fall, he went at it with a rush and the 
first day or two he nearly killed his team. 
But he concluded before he worked long that 
fifty acres were enough, and when he quit he 
found he had sown but twenty-five acres. 

Have you noticed that fellow right there 
by the corner who has stopped a half dozen 
men as they came by, and drew them to one 
side and talked in a tone so no one could hear 
him except himself and the one to whom he 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 39 



was talking? Now there are a few men who 
never talk to another without taking him to 
one side. Such men are not to be trusted. 
They are generally betrayers of confidence. 

That man you see with one suspender, one 
pant leg in his boot and a general slovenly 
dress is a slouch. Just follow him to where 
his team is hitched and you will see that his 
harness are fitted on his horses in about the 
same style that his clothes are on him. 

Look at that big fat man there in the center 
of that group. Why are so many gathered 
around him? Hear him laugh. He is one 
of those men who draw everybody around 
him on account of his happy disposition. 
No matter where he goes he will attract peo- 
ple. He is a sure cure for the "blues." 
He is better than medicine for soul-sick peo- 
ple. He is a benefactor to mankind and 
when he becomes helpless he ought to receive 
a pension. 

My dear friends, if you will observe closely 
you can learn much concerning the character 
of those you meet. Your Uncle could point 
out many other indexes to character, but 
these will suffice. This variety of acts and 
dispositions is what gives unity to the human 
race. A rainbow of but one color would not 



40 UNCLK JONAS TALKS. 

be beautiful. If all men were alike, life 
would grow monotonous. No doubt, each 
one has a niche to fill — each one is a part of 
one stupendous whole. 

"Out of earth's elements mingled with flame. 
Out of life's compound of glory and shame, 
Fashioned and shaped by no will of their own, 

And helplessly into life's history thrown. 
Born by the law that compels men to be, 

Born to conditions they could not foresee— 
John and Peter, Robert and Paul, 
God in his wisdom created them all." 



WHERE ARE THEY? 

My Dear Friends: This evening as the 
clock on the shelf is ticking away the time 
and the cricket is chirping in the corner and 
the shades of night have gathered around, 
your Uncle has fallen into a dream of the 
past, and his thoughts go back to eastern 
Ohio to the scenes of his boyhood, and as he 
stands there in imagination, and looks around 
him, he asks himself the question, What has 
become of his early associates? W r here are 
they who played with him when a boy? 
Where are they who were grown up men and 
women at that time? Where are the school 
teachers that ruled him in more ways than 
one? Where are they all gone and what are 
thev doing this eveningr? 

He wanders down to the little old Bethle- 
hem church that stands amid the honey 
locusts near the bank of Sandy creek, and 
climbs over the fence and strolls through the 
graveyard, and he finds many of them there. 

Yes, my dear friends, many of those with 
whom your Uncle was acquainted in his boy- 
hood days lie there beneath the sod, "Careless 



42 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

alike of the sunshine and rain — each in his 
windowless palace of rest." 

He looks around him and on the marble 
slabs, he reads the date of birth and death, 
and in but few cases is there other memorial 
to testify that the inmates ever existed. But 
deep down in the very being of him who 
stands there, many of them live. Thoughts 
of bygone days come rushing back like the 
flow of the tide of ocean and many of those 
dead live again. Yonder monument marks 
the grave of father. Where is he? Does he 
not live in the very thoughts, deeds and 
actions to a certain extent of those he left 
behind? When the mind calls up in long 
review the forms of those it knew in youth, 
time itself has been annihilated and Then is 
Now. 

But your Uncle must not hold you here too 
long. He now wends his way to the old 
Brown Frame school house. Here he taught 
his first term of school. Well does he 
remember the first morning of that eventful 
term. And as he stands upon that dividing 
line, the Present, and looks back through the 
kaleidoscope of time and views the scene as 
it then was, he returns again and asks him- 
self, where are they who gathered there as 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 43 

the pupils of the Brown Frame school? What 
has become of those boys and girls who for 
four years called your Uncle their teacher? 
Where are they all? Were the lessons they 
received such as to make them better as the 
years went by? Where are they! Echo 
answers. Your Uncle thinks of them as the 
boys and girls of Brown Frame school and 
not as grown up men and women as all are 
who are yet alive. 

And the Cross Road school where three 
years were spent as teacher. Where are 
those boys and girls that came with whoop 
and hurrah on each morning? They are not 
there now. In his imagination, he strolls by 
and as the boys and girls at recess time who 
now are there come up, he asks them if Coon 
Bowers still attends school here. They tell 
him that no such a boy belongs to Cross Road 
school. He inquires after many others, but 
they are not there now. They have gone 
from there and that is all that he can learn — 
but they have not gone from the memory of 
him who asks the question, Where are they? 

In his dream he is carried up to the site of 
the old log school house. Here is where he 
first made the discovery that there was such 
a thing as a school in the world. He sees 



44 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

the long slab, backless benches, the old box 
sheet iron stove, the goose qui 11 pen. He 

sees the form of Silas G the tyrant who 

presided over the school and who "licked" 
one of them on an average every five minutes 
while he taught the.re. There sit the Dicken 
boys, the Gantzes, the Jeromes, the Dorises, 
the Casselmans, the Eckleys, the Westfalls, 
and eight or ten different breeds of Harshes. 
Your Uncle can see them all and as he hears 
the rod of that old master strike the ceiling 
he shuts his eyes and curses in speechless 
silence. But that old master is not there 
now. The last that was heard of him, he 
furnished the corpse for a funeral somewhere 
in Iowa. Nor are those boys there now. 
Where are they gone? Your Uncle occasion- 
ally meets one of them — but he is not a boy 
any more. His head is becoming silvered 
and he is nearing the summit of life. The 
shadows of these boys will soon cease to point 
westward. Yes, these boys and girls have 
wne from there and come back no more save 
on memory's tide. 

It is with melancholy pleasure that your 
Uncle visits these scenes and inquires for the 
"boys." He has no regrets or no desire to 
live over those days again except in memory. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 45 

He does not believe with those who think 
that childhood is the happiest period of life. 
He believes that life and its enjoyments should 
increase as time goes by, else it is a dismal 
failure. If when we ask Where are they? a 
feeling arises in ns that our brightest days 
are gone, then can we recite with the poet, 

"Comfort? Comfort scorned of devils, 

This is the truth that the poet sings, 

That a sorrow's crown of sorrow 

Is remembering happier things." 
My dear friends, you' each, no doubt, often 
go back to the scenes of your childhood and 
ask where are they whom you then knew. 



STRAY THOUGHTS. 

My Dear Friends: This evening while 
your Uncle is in his thinkshop looking over 
the timber at hand, he has concluded to pick 
up some of the scraps that are lying around 
and join them together for the inspection of 
his readers. 

The first thought that he will present you 
is, that there is always two sides to every 
subject — the outside and the inside. An 
Irishman fresh from the old sod was 
employed to drive a stage coach across the 
country with a number of high-toned Ameri- 
cans in it. Pat drove along many miles 
until he at last came to a railroad crossing 
and seeing the sign "Look out for the loco- 
motive," he stopped and yelling from the top 
of the coach to those within — "Will one of 
ye's plaze look out for the locomotive?" One 
of the party answered "Why don't you look 
yourself." Pat answered, "and how the 
divil am I to look out when I am not inside." 

Just so in life, a subject appears very 
different to those who view it from the outside 
to what it does to those who view it from the 
inside. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 47 

To the man in the moon, the earth moves; 
while to those on earth, the moon moves. 

So my dear friends, if yon feel inclined to 
criticise the acts and motives of those who 
are acting- for themselves in matters that are 
not interfering with your rights, bear in mind 
that you are doing so from a standpoint with- 
out, while they may be acting from within. 

Less than four hundred years ago, Colum- 
bus was considered a fool and heretic for 
asserting that the earth is round, and to-day 
the teacher that would teach his pupils that 
it is any other shape would be expelled and 
possibly sent to the lunatic asylum for 
treatment. 

When Robert Fulton built his boat the 
common herd called it "Fulton's Folly," 
and stood on the banks of the Hudson and 
hooted and jeered him. But it moved and 
now the white sails are spread on every sea. 

When the first steamer was built to cross 
the Atlantic the crowd stood around and said 
"It can't be done." "No steamship can 
ever cross the ocean, and a learned (?) physi- 
cian of England wrote a book showing the 
impossibility of such an adventure. Well, 
my dear friends, the first copy of that book 
was brought to America in that steamship. 



48 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

When railroads were first talked of, it was 
declared that three miles an hour would be 
the fastest time they could ever make and 
that it would be forever impossible for a train 
to run on any but a straight track. 

When Morse asked congress to appropriate 
$30,000 to assist him in building a telegraph 
line to experiment on his invention, one con- 
gressman suggested that they build a lunatic 
asylum for him and another sneeringly moved 
that they appropriate money to build a line 
to the moon. 

But the trains are running at more than 
three miles an hour, go around curves, over 
hills and through mountains. The telegraph 
has been perfected, and time and space have 
been annihilated by it. 

My dear friends, your Uncle has observed 
that on the dead snags and limbs of the tree 
of Knowledge are perched blind human owls 
who sit there and look wise and hoot at those 
who are trying to make improvements over 
what already exists. It has ever been thus. 
If you desire to pass through this world with- 
out being severely censured, follow the advice 
given by Pope in the couplet: 

''Be not the first by whom the new is tried. 
Nor yet the last to lay the old aside." 



IF. 

My Dear Friends: Did you ever observe 
what everlasting things hang on "if? 1 ' 

It stands between many a man and success. 
It is a thief that has stolen (in the minds of 
many) all earthly achievements and has left 
them — Jeremiah-like — doling out their lam- 
entations. It is a tyrant, quite often, that 
banishes hope from the human heart and 
leaves it worse than dead. It is a vulture 
that preys upon the living, and too often a 
murderer of the holiest ambitions of the soul. 
It is the insurmountable wall that separates 
what is from what was hoped to be. 

Yes, my dear friends, IF things were not 
as they are, what wonderful changes there 
would be. 

If your Uncle had not been born, he would 
not be at all; and if he had been born a 
female he would have been your Aunt. If 
the matter of gender was not as it is, what 
great changes there would be in the average 
human family. 

If Greece had never flourished, if Rome 
had never been, if Columbus had never been 



50 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

born, if Washington had never existed, IF 
Lincoln had died in his infancy, who can 
surmise what the result would have been? 
If slavery had never been introduced into 
the American colonies — the late war would 
never have been, and the average politician 
in this country would be cut short of cam- 
paign fuel for want of scarlet garments. 

If the surroundings were different the 
results would be different, also. 

Why, my dear friends, if we had been born 
and reared in China, we would all be wearing 
"pig-tails' ' and believing that our eternal hap- 
piness depends upon it. If we had been 
born and reared in India, we would all believe 
in the transmigration of souls, and not a 
mouthful of meat would ever find its way to 
our stomachs. If we had been born and 
reared in Turkey, when the bells from the 
towers of the mosques peal forth the hour of 
high twelve, we would all stop, no matter 
where we were, and return thanks to Allah. 

"If I had only improved my time while 
young," says the aged man as he is nearing 
the end of his journey, "my life would have 
been more pleasant." 

"If I had only had enough money to have 
purchased a block when the city was platted," 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 51 

sighs the street loafer, "I would now be 
wealthy." 

"IF I had only married the judge," whis- 
per the Maud Mullers, li I might be living 
differently." 

u lF I had only followed my mother's ad- 
vice," says the criminal, "I would not be 
where I am." 

Thusjt is all along the avenues of life we 
find men and women who are forever lament- 
ing over the mistakes or supposed mistakes 
of their past lives. The hell-hounds of 
Regret and Remorse are forever dogging 
their steps or baying on their tracks. These 
people have turned their heads upon their 
shoulders and are gazing with sorrow into 
the land of was, and see nothing but the 
tombstones erected at the graves of disap- 
pointed hopes, which lie on either side of the 
pathway of life. 

If they would only look forward into the 
beautiful land of Will-be, and let "the dead 
past bury its dead," how much brighter and 
pleasanter would their lives be, and how 
much happier would they make those around 
them. 

Since no one is permitted to choose his 
parents or to name the country where his 



52 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

eyes shall first behold the light of the sun, or 
to have choice as to the coloring matter that 
enters into his skin, — it is worse than folly 
for him to sit down and lament and groan, 
and say, "If things had been different." 

Your Uncle would not have you understand 
that he believes you should be contented with 
anything and everything that may come to 
you, for he verily believes that contentment 
as understood by most people is nothing more 
or less than satisfied laziness. But what he 
wants to impress upon you is, not to spend 
your time in grieving over the past mistakes 
of your life, and neglect the present and 
blast the hopes of your future. 

When you have set your mark and feel 
certain it is a worthy one, then if you miss 
it, "Pick your flint and try it again." 

When things do not go to suit you do not 
sit down and hold your jaw and whine about 
it until you become a being of disgust. But 
up and doing and profit by your mistake. 

And now, my dear friends, your Uncle 
asks you to make use of that little word IF 
just as sparingly as possible, for those who 
use it to excess are generally hated and 
shunned by all good people. 

Look not mournfully into the past. It 



< ( 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 53 

comes not back again. Wisely improve the 
Present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the 
shadowy future without fear, and with a 
manly heart." 



-^^m¥ 



DRAG THE RAKE, BOYS. 

My Dear Friends: When your Uncle was 
a mere boy working on the farm with his 
father and brothers many little incidents 
occurred which have since become lessons of 
profit. 

One conies floating back this evening upon 
Memory's tide and serves as a text for your 
Uncle's Talk. In the year '63 or '64, wheat 
was worth $3 a bushel and farmers were 
anxions to save every head grown — but boys 
sometimes do not prove as frugal as their 
father would have them. Thus it was in 
this case. The wheat field was upon a hill- 
side. An older brother and a hired hand 
were cutting it with cradles, and a younger 
brother, his father and your Uncle were 



54 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

raking the swathes into sheaves and binding 
them. The hillside was so steep that the 
grain could be cut but one way — hence the 
cradlers when they cut through to the end 
would walk back carrying their cradles. 
Father would insist on the rakes being- 
dragged on our return to gather up the heads 
of wheat that lay scattered about. He once 
stopped at the end and when we trudged on 
out of his sight, we shouldered our rakes and 
let the scattered heads remain on the ground. 

Presently a loud well-known voice rang 
out from the knoll over which we had passed, 
in tones which we did not mistake, "Drag 
the rake, boys, wheat is $3 a bushel." 

The voice of him who uttered that com- 
mand has been stilled by the night of death, 
but the wisdom which it contains is yet heard 
through the trumpet of years. 

My dear friends, there is quite a difference 
between being heard and being understood. 
If a person is not heard (unless his audience 
be deaf) it is the fault of the speaker, if he is 
not understood it is the fault of the hearer. 

Well, your Uncle heard distinctly the 
utterance, "drag the rake, boys," but it took 
years to reach the seat of his understanding. 
There is an excellent lesson in it — one which 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 55 

when fully understood and practiced will be 
a benefit. 

Look around you, my dear friends, and see 
how many persons there are who have shoul- 
dered their rakes instead of dragging them. 
See how many have gone through to the end 
of their swath and are now 7 walking back 
with their rakes in the air. Not a head will 
they catch — not a kernel will they save. The 
world is full of people who do not drag their 
rakes, — and who will not even carry them on 
their shoulders, but have cast them aside and 
are sitting around claiming a right to a share 
of the sheaves bound and the grain gathered 
by those who drag their rakes. 

There is another class of people who drag 
their rakes and will not lift them for stones 
or snags — but rip right through. Such peo- 
ple soon find all the teeth broken out of their 
rake and sometimes the head of it split, so 
new teeth cannot be inserted. Others drag 
their rake right through everything that 
comes in its way. The golden wheat, the 
rag- weed, the Canada thistle, the sand-burr 
aud bull-nettle are all heaped together — one 
conglomerate mass — never to be separated. 

The swath of life which every one has to 
cut and bind into sheaves can not always be 



56 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



untied. We can not walk back to the other 
end dragging our rakes, and come through 
again. The seed which we sow at seed time 
has much to do with the sheaves which we 
rake together and tie at harvest time. "Drag 
the rake, boys," through life. You may 
catch many a straw which may show you the 
direction of the wind or the course of the 
currents. Drag the intellectual rake, boys, 
and you will find occasionally an idea hang- 
ing to it. 

The largest ear of wheat is not always 
found in the largest field nor will the largest 
rake always gather the greatest amount of 
grain. 

There are some people who seem to think 
that there is no room for their rakes — that 
some other fellow has their swath — that the 
harvest is past and all the grain has been 
gathered, bound into sheaves, threshed and 
marketed, and they have arrived a little too 
late to get a share, so they stand around and 
in their disappointment and anger, they 
smash their rakes over the stumps and stones 
on the outside of the field, forgetting that 
they will need them when the season returns. 

My dear friends, your Uncle admonishes 
you to drag the rake as you pass through 



57 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

life. Drag the rake socially — drag thje rake 
physically — drag the rake morally — drag the 
rake intellectually, and when you get 
through to the end of your swath you will 
have a crop of grain to thresh instead of chaff 
and cheat. 



4i» 



GROWING APART. 
My Dear Friends: Away up in the Rocky 
Mountains you will find two little streams is- 
suing from the rocks within a few miles of 
each other, and seeking to obey the law of 
gravitation, they wind around the little 
ravines eager to escape and become some- 
thing greater. These two streams form the 
head waters of the great rivers Columbia 
and Missouri. As they proceed they 
grow farther apart until the waters of one is 
poured into the Pacific ocean — while the 
other courses its way east and south until 
swallowed up by the mighty Mississippi. 



58 UNCLE' JONAS TALKS. 

These inanimate beings obeyed the law of 
Nature and thus grew apart. 

How like these mighty rivers are many 
human beings. Their sources may have been 
near each other — they may have been chil- 
dren of the same parents, reared and nurtured 
under the same roof — yet their courses in life 
may diverge as widely as the Columbia and 
Missouri. 

Is it from some law of Nature which they 
are compelled to obey like the waters, or is 
it from some law of impulse? Or are they 
responsible for the course they pursue? 

While people are like these rivers in one 
respect — they may differ in that they may 
grow apart in thought, feeling and action, 
and yet, in body, remain under the same roof 
and eat from the same table. 

How often may be seen brothers who have 
been rocked in the same cradle — soothed and 
caressed by the same mother, growing apart 
until they lose all trace of each other save in 
memory. How often may be seen a young 
married couple starting out amid the moun- 
tains of hardship which so often rise before 
the poor in early life — but as the years roll 
on, and they have accumulated enough of 
this world's goods on which to live in ease, 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 59 

they have so grown apart in opinions and 
feeling that the streams of kindness and sym- 
pathy that flow from the heart never reach 
each other's heads. They have grown apart 
until the cold and sterile mountain that sepa- 
rates them is higher than the Rocky Moun- 
tains which separate the rivers referred to. 

Into the stream of life many obstructions 
may be thrown to turn it from its course. 
Selfishness, cruelty and unkindness have 
caused many to grow apart who should have 
lived closely together. Greed for the accu- 
mulation of this world's goods has caused 
many a man to convert his head into an 
account book and his heart into a stone, and 
thus he has grown apart from the world into 
a piece of congealed self. 

My Dear Friends, your Uncle would not 
have you believe that this growing apart 
is always a bad thing. It is as often a bles- 
sing as a curse. If you have bad associates 
whose influence has a tendency to drag you 
down, it is well to grow apart from them. 
Early associates are quite often a mill-stone 
around the neck of him who has an ambition 
to rise above the station in life occupied by 
mediocres. 

But oftimes it is with a kind of sorrow that 



6o UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

one looks back through the kaleidoscope of 

years and follows the winding stream of life 

from then to now. 

"Where are the friends 
That to me were so dear, 
Long, long ago, long ago," 

comes like an echo to the soul of him who 
asks it, and he will find that there has been a 
wonderful growing apart as the years have 
gone by. Many of those friends in whom he 
confided, and almost lived, moved and had 
his being years ago, have grown so far away 
from him that they are now scarcely ever 
thought of. 

The following beautiful poem which ap- 
peared in the Yankee Blade, from the pen 
of S. W. Foss, fully illustrates this growing 
apart. Read it carefully and bear in mind 
that what you are is more important than 
WHERE you are. 

ENOCH, CYRUS, JERRY AND BEN. 

Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben 

Were babies together, four fat little men, 

Four bald-headed babies, who bumped themselves 

blue, 
And sprawled, grabbed and tumbled as all babies 

do— 
Full of laughter and tears, full of sorrow and glee, 
And big, bouncing bunglers as all babies be. 
All in the same valley lived these little men- 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 6l 

Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben 
Were fast little churns — till they grew to be men. 
Eight bare little feet on the same errands flew 
Thro' meadows besprinkled with daisies and dew; 
They were aimless as butterflies, thoughtless and 

free 
As the summer-mad bobolink, drunken with glee. 
A wonderful time were those careless days then 
For Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben. 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben 
Grew from babies to boys, and from boys into men. 
Too restless to stay in the circumscribed bound 
Of the green hills that circled their valley around, 
To the North and the South and the East and the 

West, 
Each departed alone on a separate quest, 
Ah! they'll never be the same to each other again — 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben. 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben, 
Though companions in youth, were strangers as 

men; 
Enoch grew rich and haughty and proud, 
While Cyrus worked on with the toil driven crowd; 
In the councils of state Jerry held a proud place, 
But poor Ben, he sounded the depths of disgrace. 
Ah! diverse were the lives of these boys from the 

glen- 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben. 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben, 
Who can read the strong fates that encompassed. 

these men? 
The fate that raised one to the summit of fame, 
The fate that dragged one to the darkness of shame! 
Ah! silence is best; neither glory nor blame 
Will I grant to the honored or dishonored name. 
We are all like these boys who grew into men — 
Enoch and Cyrus and Jerry and Ben. 



PUBLIC SPEAKING AND PUBLIC 
SPEAKERS. 

My Dear Friends: When your Uncle was 
a boy on the farm, he used to go to the fields 
and drive the cows home at milking time. 
He often observed that while the cows kept 
in the path that led to the barnyard, they 
would often reach first to this side and then 
to that and bite off a mouthful of grass and 
eat it as they passed along. Now and then 
they would break away from the path and 
run back, and the driver would have to go 
after them and bring them up again. 

In many ways some public speakers are 
like these cows. They start out on the path 
of their subject which ought to lead them to 
the barnyard of conclusion where the cream 
and milk of their efforts can be extracted and 
used as intellectual food for their hearers. 
But they keep biting off a mouthful here to 
one side of their subject, and one there on 
the other side, and then break and run back 
to where they began, and their audience must 
follow them back and come over the same 
path again, and quite often they never reach 
the barnyard at all. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 63 

In fact, they fume and fuss and fight the 
air in wild gesticulation and bellow like cat- 
tle in those seasons of the year when they 
are bothered with warbles and gad-flies. 

If it Avere not for the constitutional right to 
free speech and the liberty of the hearers to 
leave the place where some speakers speak, 
your Uncle would be in favor of having some 
speakers arrested for cruelty to animals. 

First, your Uncle verily believes that there 
is too much public speaking in the present 
age for the welfare of good thinking. The 
average person is too apt to let the public 
speaker do his thinking for him. Figura- 
tively speaking, the intellectual (?) morsel 
is chewed and the hearer closes his eyes and 
opens his mouth and swallows it down, not 
even tasting it, — thus bringing upon himself 
mental dyspepsia. 

But as speakers are like the poor — always 
with us — it may be well for your Uhcle to 
point out some of the different kinds that are 
met, and in doing so he will use a classifi- 
cation made by John Hall in which he divides 
them into three great classes: 

First, those who have nothing to say, 
and say it. 

Second, those who have something to say, 
but do not say it. 



64 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

Third, those who have something to say, 
and say it. 

The first class may be among the weak 
things of this earth which have been chosen 
to confound the mighty — but it is doubtful. 
How often are we compelled, out of what is 
called courtesy, to sit and listen to mere 
sounds from a speaker whose talk is full of 
"airy nothings." He may be carrying a 
double head of steam, as it were, but his 
intellectual steam chest is so small and his 
escape valve so large that everything escapes 
in noise, and no power is left to move his 
audience. This class of public speakers who 
have nothing to say, and who say it, is quite 
numerous, and makes considerable noise 
while doing it too. 

The second class — those who have some- 
thing to say but do not say it — makes your 
Uncle very uneasy when he listens to one of 
them, and he always wishes that he could 
help him out in some way. This class is 
very small, for when a person really has 
something to say he can generally express it 
and in such a manner as to be understood, 
too. 

The third class is always appreciated, 
whether what they say coincides with one's 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 65 

views or not — whether what lie says makes 
one angry or not. At least, one thing is 
certain, his audience will know what he said 
and how he said it. This class always has a 
clear conception of what they are saying and 
feel, at least for the time, just what they are 
talking about. 

There are man}' thing's to which your Un- 
cle might call your attention. There is the 
public speaker who hems and haws and 
apologizes and squirms around for ten or fif- 
teen minutes when he first gets Up, until his 
audience begins to feel that he will never get 
started. No public speaker has a moral right 
to do this, even if he has the privilege. If 
he is billed to speak, he should proceed at 
once, or else say he is unprepared and sit 
down. Silence is sometimes the finest ora- 
tory your Uncle has ever heard. 

Then there are those who never know when 
to stop when they get started. They want to 
exhaust the whole subject and their audience 
too, and generally do the latter. At intervals 
in the last half hour they say, "one thought 
more" and "finally" and "in conclusion" 
and "take the subject home with you," etc. 
until the audience twist and squirm, yawn 
and breathe "how long, O Lord! how long 



66 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

will it be till this speaker -stops;" and when 
they get out of the hall, they take a solemn 
vow that they will never he bored again by 
that man. 

Then there is the public speaker who seems 
to think that the louder he talks the greater 
impression he will make upon his audience. 
He will howl and saw the air, and then want 
people to be persuaded by what he says. Do 
you know that such a speaker is scarcely ever 
heard? In less than five minutes the major- 
ity of his audience hear nothing save the roar 
of the wind and seem to have gone into a 
kind of reverie. 

My dear friends, there are volumes that 
might be said on this subject, but suffice it by 
saying that every public speaker should know 
what he wants to say and say it — he should 
study his subject in a two-fold relation so 
what he says may be applicable to his sub- 
ject and audience, — he should not go into 
detail but suggest thought that will lead his 
hearers to think more than he has said — he 
should never attempt to relate a funny story 
unless he is certain that he can do it — he 
should look at his audience while talking — 
he should leave his audience when it is eager 
to hear him talk longer. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 67 

My clear friends, if any of yon desire to 
become a public speaker study a few of the 
above suggestions and observe the weak- 
nesses of other speakers and profit by them 
and then sail in. 



— ^VlWT 



SEEING. 

My Dear Friends: When your Uncle was 
a country schoolboy, he had the good fortune 
of attending several terms to a teacher who 
was able to think beyond the text-book — a 
thing which is rather uncommon among 
average teachers. 

One day this teacher informed his school 
that people do not see with their eyes — but 
all sight (understanding) is in the mind, and 
by illustration and demonstration, he proved 
the truth of his assertion. He proved to us 
that there were many things before us that 
were unintelligible to us, and which could 
only be seen by the mind or understanding 
brought into the proper relation by the culti- 
vation of the intellect. 



68 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

My dear friends, the eve is only the camera 
obsenra on which the picture is thrown — the 
mind sees the picture. Not all that falls 
upon the camera is seen. 

The story of the six blind men who vent 
to see the elephant, and who touching- differ- 
ent parts of him formed different notions of 
that animal, is as applicable to people with 
eyes as it is to those blind men. 

A few years ago the battlefield of Waterloo 
was visited by excursionists. Amongst them 
was an ignorant sight-seer who had more 
money than brains. The field was covered 
with briars and shrubs. The more intelligent 
of the party looked back through the tele- 
scope of history and saw the armies of the 
Duke of Wellington and the mighty Napo- 
leon arrayed in bloody conflict — they saw the 
defeat of the French general and his army — 
they saw him as he was borne away in lonely 
exile to the island of St. Helena, there to eke 
out his life — they saw mighty governments 
change asthe result of this battle, and while 
they looked and conversed, the ignorant boor 
who waswith them, exclaimed: lt I do not 
see anything wonderful in a few briars and 
shrubs to go into fits about.' ' 

His eves beheld — but his mind did not see. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 69 

There was an excursion of the learned to 
Niagara Falls a few years ago, and as it pass- 
ed through Buffalo, New York, a Vermonter 
— a sheep man wdio had brought a carload of 
sheep to the Buffalo market — joined the 
excursion. He was one of those men who is 
in love with his business. No matter what 
he looked at, he saw something that reminded 
him of SHEEP. When the excursion reached 
the Falls, and each was viewing the sublimity 
and grandeur of this mighty freak of Nature, 
— the force of gravity was seen as never 
before — in the spray the beautiful rainbow 
revealed all the primitive colors, and the 
scientists saw the laws of physics obeyed to 
the letter and while they were standing there 
awe-stricken with the sight, the old Ver- 
monter with his pantaloons in his boots — 
with his hands up to his elbows in his 
pockets — blurted out, "My God! What a 
good place this would be to wash sheep." 

He had eyes, but he saw not above or be- 
yond. He could see nothing of what the 
others saw, for his mind was uncultivated and 
concentrated in the horned patriarch of the 
sheep tribe. 

My dear friends, education is the telescope 
that reveals thousands upon thousands of 



UNCLE JOXAS TALKS. 



things to mankind. With it a person may 
read sermons in the pebbles and find com- 
panions in the babbling waters of the brook. 
By education, man may see to read the starry 
sky — by education he can go down into the 
bowels of the earth and see the past history 
of the rocks — by education he can see the 
morsel of food transformed to living tissue — 
by education he can bring up in long review 
the nations of the earth that have flourished 
and faded — by education the mental horizon 
may be so enlarged, that seeing may not be 
confined simply to the present, but may be 
extended through the mists of bygone years. 
My dear friends, if you desire to k 'have 
eyes and see not," just cease to cultivate your 
mind. If you wish to go through this life 
like a young robin — with your eyes closed 
and mouth open — do not improve your intel- 
lect, but if you wish to see the beauties that 
lie around you on every side, improve your 
mind, and the panorama will present itself at 
everv turn. 



WHAT MAX CAN DO. 

My Dear Friends: If you will east your 
eye over the progress of the past century you 
will almost be led to the conclusion that man 
is capable of doing anything that he desires. 
He has caged steam and by its expansive 
force, he sends the iron horse prancing across 
the continent. He has tamed lightning 
and by the telegraph he has annihilated 
time and space. He has by the invention of 
the telephone made it possible to converse in 
audible tones for hundreds of miles. He has 
spanned the mighty rivers with bridges, tun- 
neled the mountains, and no obstacle seems 
to arise that he cannot surmount. 

But, my dear friends, — your Uncle has 
observed that with all man's boasted ability 
— with all the progress he has made in 
science, art, literature or in any direction 
whatever — after all he can do but two things. 
Namely: Put things together and take 
things apart. 

The farmer can do no more than put the 
seed into the ground — or put the seed and 
the ground together — he cannot make it 
o-row. Nature does that. Man builds rail- 



72 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

roads, and all he does is to place the ties and 
earth together to form the roadbed, he joins 
the irons together to make the track. If he 
wants to span the rivers with bridges, he 
only puts things together — he creates nothing. 
He tunnels mountains by taking rocks and 
earth apart. He enslaves the winds to do 
his work by bringing his wheel in contact 
with the atmosphere. He produces all these 
changes by either mechanical or chemical 
force. He kindles the fire — but the chemical 
change called combustion produces the heat. 
He puts cold water and cold lime together, 
and Nature slacks it. He, in fact, is but an 
agent to guide and direct force — he can not 
create it. 

Things must be put together, else no effect 
will be produced, and if put together in their 
proper relations the effect will produce what 
is called good — if put together improperly 
the effect will produce what is called evil. 

The same knife that cuts your bread may 
cut your throat. It is the application — the 
putting together — that produces the effect, 
and not the things themselves. 

My dear friends, let us observe if the same 
statement, that man can do but two things, 
will hold eood in literature. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. *] $ 

You are aware that the letters of the alpha- 
bet have no power — no meaning in fact when 
detached. But just put them together in 
proper relation and they form every word in 
the English language, whether that word be 
good or bad. A good word may be so put 
together with other words as to make its 
meaning bad. 

Every sentence uttered or written can only 
be done so by putting words together. The 
same word when joined differently may pro- 
duce a different thought. 

The following sentences convey quite differ- 
ent meanings although made np of the same 
words: "Lost, a cow with brass knobs on 
her horns, belonging to a widow." "Lost, 
a cow belonging to a widow with brass knobs 
on her horns." The meaning depends on 
the manner in which the words are put 
together and not on the words themselves. 

The sentence, "Woman — without her — 
man would be a savage," does not mean the 
same as the sentence, "Woman without her 
man — would be a savage." 

You see, my dear friends, that there is 
much in the statement that man can do but 
two things, and if he does those well he will, 
no doubt, fill his mission on earth. Every- 



74 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

thing in Nature is governed by immutable 
laws, and Man progresses just in proportion 
as he discovers these laws and applies the 
proper principles to make them serve his 
wants. 

If your Uncle has caused you to think by 
the few thoughts presented above, he has 
accomplished his desire. 



; ^m— 



CONVERSATION. 
My Dear Friends: Conversation is quite 
often confounded with talking, — but there is 
a vast distinction between the two terms. 
The former implies at least two persons who 
speak and listen alternately, while the latter 
implies a speaker and a listener. There is 
no way in which so much information can be 
gained — no way in which so much happiness 
can be derived — no way in which so much 
misery can be inflicted as there can be by 
conversation. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 75 

It is often the block and tackle that raises 
people to higher planes of thought or the 
millstone about the neck that drags them 
down to gross and groveling things. 

The subjects of conversation may be divided 
into two classes, namely: persons and things ; 
and these may be subdivided into an innu- 
merable number according to their treatment. 

Your Uncle has observed that the common 
herd of mankind prefers to converse about 
PERSONS instead of things, and that, too, when 
the subject of their conversation is not 
present. Just listen to the ordinary conver- 
sation, and after the greeting and reference 
to the weather are made, then you will hear 
the name or names of parties not present 
referred to, and that quite often in uncompli- 
mentary terms. People fall into the habit of 
directing their conversation about other 
people who, in their opinion, have short- 
comings, and great delight seems to be taken 
in showing them up in the worst possible 
light. Women, as a class, are given to this 
kind of conversation more than men. 

Now, my dear friends, the last sentence 
above will cause your Uncle to be discussed, 
if not cussed, instead of conversing on the 
thought presented in that sentence. 



76 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



How often do people meet and converse for 
hours and hours about some one whom they 
consider worthless, insignificant and mean, 
and with whom they would not associate, 
and yet they will waste valuable time which 
in no way will benefit themselves or the 
person of whom they are conversing. There 
is scarcely a private social gathering where 
the character of some absent one or ones is 
not picked, carved and dissected in a most 
nnmercifnl manner, — beheading people, as it 
were, with the tongue. 

Yonr Uncle one time offered to give a 
present to each of a party of young folks who 
the next day intended to have a social gath- 
ering, provided they would let their conver- 
sation be wholly about things instead of 
absent persons. The presents have not yet 
been called for. 

Why is it that so many good people will 
spend their time and destroy their peace of 
mind in conversing about other people of 
whom they know so little? Why condemn 
people when the circumstances and surround- 
ings which make them what they are, are 
illy understood? Why assassinate an absent 
person with your tongue and then when you 
meet him, greet him with a smile and shake 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 77 

his hand and inquire about his health? What 
good can come of speaking disparagingly of 
other people when you hope and trust what 
you have said will never be heard by them? 
Should your criticism not be, first for the 
benefit of him who is criticised, and second 
for the benefit of society? 

How different is conversation which dis- 
cusses things instead of persons. Of course 
it takes more thought — more knowledge — 
more education — more moral character — 
more brains generally to converse on subjects 
of this kind — the benefits and pleasures 
derived are far greater in the end. 

The reason there are so many poor conver- 
sationalists is because people have devoted 
most of their time to business matters, and 
but little time to the study of science, art and 
literature. Men have fallen into the habit, 
not into the idea, that it is necessary to 
devote every moment to their business mat- 
ters, and hence their conversations when 
away from their place of business takes 
naturally in that course. The school teacher 
talks school, the lawyer talks law, the physi- 
cian talks disease, the minister talks sin and 
righteousness, the farmer talks crops and 
hogs, the dry goods man talks calico and 



78 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

silk, and so on through all the callings in 
life until every person's conversation smells 
of his profession or trade. Would it 
not be better to direct the mind when away 
from business by conversation which will 
open up new channels of thought? To be 
a good conversationalist — a rare thing — one 
must possess a broad and liberal education. 
One must know that "all right thinking 
people" do not necessarily think as he does, 
and that in the continent of Thought there 
is room for every explorer. 



RESOLUTIONS. 

My Dear Friends: You, no doubt, have 
observed that there never has been a time in 
the history of the world when so many reso- 
lutions have been passed as in the present 
age. Resolutions full of nothing — resolutions 
which are to be put in print instead of into 
practice — resolutions which are intended to 
boom their author instead of benefitting the 
convention which passes them — resolutions 
which will not bear the light of reason to fall 
upon them — resolutions which are never 
thought of before or after the day they are 
adopted. 

This passing of resolutions which are not 
put into action has a demoralizing influence 
upon those who adopt them, yet your Uncle 
believes that while the practice of passing 
resolutions without due consideration is con- 
tined it is best that they are not carried out. 

A resolution — and when your Uncle says 
resolution here he means resolution — presup- 
poses that thought has preceded and that 
action will follow, else the resolution is only 
another name for falsehood. 

"Think, resolve, act," is a good motto 



8o UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

when taken in its order, but when reversed 
it oftimes proves disastrous. How often do 
you see men who ACT the fool and then RE- 
SOLVE that they will never do so again, but 
never put their resolution into effect. Tt is 
much easier to attend a temperance conven- 
tion and arise and offer a resolution condemn- 
ing the liquor traffic and then go home and 
sit down and see the law violated daily, than 
to do anything to put the resolution into 
action. 

The world is full of moral cowards who 
want to be dead certain that a large majority 
will favor the enforcing of a resolution before 
thev will conimit themselves. 

Resolutions passed in a convention too 
often contain narrow opinions which are 
either the fruits of some contracted mind or 
the legitimate works of the devil. 

A number of years ago, a national conven- 
tion of a small sect was called to meet at 
Memphis, Tennessee; and when the time 
came there were but three ministers present. 
One of them was elected chairman, and he 
appointed the other two a committee on reso- 
lutions. The committee withdrew from the 
hall and in a short time returned and reported 
the following: 



U N C L K JO N AS T A L KS . 8 1 

"Your committee beg leave to make the 
following- report: 

i . Resolved that the world belongs to the 
Saints. 

2. Resolved that we three are the Saints." 

The report was unanimously adopted and 
the convention adjourned. 

My dear friends, these resolutions like 
many others prove nothing — in fact, in the 
true sense of the term, are not resolutions 
at all. 

Nine-tenths of the resolutions passed are 
the ebullition of anger, the effervescence of 
impulsive natures, the froth of ignorance or 
the snares of the hypocrite. 

Resolutions are not confined to the living 
alone — but to the dead also. Just how a 
series of resolutions can do the dead any good 
is more than your Uncle has been able to 
comprehend. If people or societies have 
such an exalted opinion of a person why 
should they wait until he dies before they 
formulate them into resolutions, prefaced by 
a number of "whereases." No criticism is 
intended upon a tribute of respect given to 
the world by the friends of the dead — but 
many of the resolutions passed on such occa- 
sions are but the vapor of a momentary 
impulse. 



82 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

My dear friends, do not infer that your 
Uncle is advising you not to make any reso- 
lutions. Far from that, he would have you 
first think, then resolve, then act, and when 
you find that you have make a bad resolution 
do not be foolish enough to act in accordance. 

It is the actions — not the resolutions — of 
men that emblazon their names on the pages 
of the world's history. 

Bear in mind that there is quite a difference 
between resolving to do right and doing it. 



FORMERS AND REFORMERS. 
My Dear Friends: Your Uncle has always 
believed that there is a great deal of time 
spent in trying to RE-form parties and people 
that could be better employed in forming 
them correctly in the first place. Men go 
howling around the country about the need 
of reform who make no effort to see that the 
children of their own household are forming 
habits that will not need RE-form ing in after 
life. 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 83 

Tiie building of a man or woman is not the 
work of a day — but of a lifetime, and the idea 
held out by many that a reformed man is just 
as good as one who has always walked some- 
where near the path of right and duty, is a 
false light that is leading too many into the 
swamp of evil habits from which they never 
return. 

Figs do not grow on cactus nor are Ben 
Davis apples found on the crab tree. 

The seed sown prophesies the harvest and 
the wild-oats sown in youth will not produce 
a valuable crop of manhood or womanhood. 

The growing of a manhood or womanhood 
must be done on the same principle as im- 
proving a Kansas farm, and that is hard work 
and patient toil in its cultivation. 

The sand-burrs of an evil inclination must 
be rooted out — the bull nettles of an ungov- 
ernable temper must be brought under con- 
trol — the Canada thistles of avarice and 
discontent must be grubbed out and the weeds 
of various kinds that are to be found in 
human nature must be plowed up, so the 
sunshine may beam down upon better things 
and the gentle rains may do their work in 
bringing forth an abundant harvest of good 
deeds and acts. 



84 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

It is much easier to be a re-former than a 
former, because it is much easier to find 
fault with a job after it is completed than it 
is to do the work. 

It is much easier to inform people wherein 
they erred than it is to point out the way and 
direct children how to avoid error. It is 
easier to get people to listen to the sins and 
short-comings of others than it is to instruct 
them how to avoid the same. It is much 
easier to point the finger of scorn at the wart 
on the other fellow's nose than it is to remove 
the wart or prevent its growing in the first 
place. 

My dear friends, your Uncle would not 
have you infer that he does not believe in a 
person reforming who has done wrong and 
led a bad life, — but he has little if any use 
for a reformed reformer. Society seems 
to be eager to lionize a man especially who 
has touched the shoals and depths of wicked- 
ness and who reforms and uses it as capital 
to bring him into prominence. 

Does a person deserve any special credit 
for doing his duty to society by conducting 
himself properly? 

Has a reformed reformer any moral right to 
inflict upon an audience a recital of his past 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 85 

life, with all its horrors, and then with a 
kind of pharisaical air pat himself on the 
back and say, "I thank Thee that I am not 
as other men are." 

My dear friends, there is an old saying that 
the way to reform a man is to reform his 
grandparents, and your Uncle has a great 
deal of faith in the idea. The lives of men 
and women reach back through many gener- 
ations. Unseen hands quite often push us 
on to do the deeds and acts performed. 

Your Uncle once listened to the great (?) 
Francis Murphy recite the horrors of his past 
life — a life steeped in murder and debauchery. 
He told of the many nights he had gone 
home drunk, and driven his wife and chil- 
dren from the house, fleeing for their lives, 
and then drawing himself in an attitude of 
"now-look-how-big-a-man-I-am," he seemed 
to act as though he thought it necessary to 
be mean first in order to be good. 

As your Uncle listened to him, he thought 
to himself, "I do not want any such a man 
to teach me how to treat my wife." 

The man who plants an orchard, cultivates 
and prunes the trees, and guards the jack- 
rabbits from peeling them will have a far 
better orchard, other things equal, than he 



86 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

who plants the trees and takes no care of 
them. Jnst so it is in the forming of a man- 
hood or womanhood, it needs constant care 
by those in charge — whether that be the 
parents or self. 

There is need of reformers, but it is doubt- 
ful if the world needs reformed reformers 
who saw the air in recitation of their past 
iniquity. Rotten timber must sometimes be 
removed from the building — but it should not 
be tised by others in the construction of their 
homes. 

Bad habits must also be abandoned and 
mistakes corrected — but they should so far as 
possible not be ingrafted on others or used as 
stock for self-aggrandizement. Let there be 
more time and care given to the formation of 
character and less time will be needed for 
re- form at ion. 



HOME OVER HERE. 

My Dear Friends: When your Uncle 
Jonas was a tender youth, he used to attend 
meeting at a little country church which the 
common herd called the "Devil's Half Acre/' 
— but its proper name was Emery Chapel. 
Often has he heard men and women speak of 
what they expected that home to be and how 
they longed to go and enjoy it. He has seen 
and heard men sing and talk about their 
"Home Over There 1 ' who never made an 
effort to build for themselves and family a 
decent and comfortable "Home Over Here." 
They seemed to forget that the only way to 
build for the future home is to work and do 
what is right in the present one. 

Our home over here should be made one of 
the most pleasant places on this side of the 
pearly gates of the New Jerusalem, and it can 
be made so if all the members of the home 
work to make it so. 

Too many children in this age are growing 
up almost ignorant of what home is. They 
have been hauled about in a covered wagon 
from place to place until they become uneasy 



88 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

and do not want to settle down for a perma- 
nent home. 

The home over here that is purchased is 
not half so good as one that is built by father 
and mother and the children. It is a happy 
feeling to the man who can sit under a tree 
in his own door yard and say "I planted this 
tree." It is a great pleasure for the members 
of the home to know and feel that the 
orchard, grove, vineyard and berry patch 
were all planted, nurtured and cared for by 
them. You never saw a renter take much 
interest in the property he has in charge. 
You never saw a man "shoulder a musket to 
defend a boarding 1101186," but a home he 
will die for if he is a man of honor. 

When your Uncle refers to the home over 
here he does not mean the building, or what 
is too often called a residence. A home often 
means something quite different from that. 
Upholstered furniture, lace curtains, lambre- 
quins, tidies and Brussels carpet, are too often 
found in houses which are considered too 
fine for a home, and children are almost com- 
pelled to remove their shoes before entering, 
so they may not soil the fixtures. Children 
soon become dissatisfied with such surround- 
ings and seek to spend their spare moments 
elsewhere. 



UNCLES JONAS TALKS. 89 

A great many men are so engrossed with 
their business that they have no time to spend 
in making a happy home, and becoming 
acquainted with their children. A story is 
told of a man of this kind, who thought more 
of making money than of building a home. 
During the week he rose early before his 
little son was out of bed, his wife would get 
his breakfast and he would go to his place of 
business — take his dinner at a restaurant and 
return late, after his little boy had gone to 
bed. Sunday was the only day he could 
spend with his family. He slapped his little 
son one day and the child went into the 
house crying, and when asked by his mother 
what the matter was, he said, "That man 
who boards here on Sunday slapped me." 

If our home over here is to be what it 
should be — what it may be — there must be 
no room in the house too good to use — the 
members of the household must feel and 
know that they each own a part of the home. 
Children must be taught to obey — for boys 
and girls who are permitted to do as they 
please before they have grown to years of dis- 
cretion do not honor their father and mother 
for it. Kind words and kind acts should not 
be forgotten in the home over here. The 



90 UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 

man who ruthlessly wounds the members of 
his household with cross or unkind words — 
the woman who finds fault with everything 
and everybody around her family circle, 
ought to get a free pass to their home over 
there where fuel is reported to be cheaper 
than it is here in Kansas. 

Your Uncle has observed men who have 
sacrificed their homes — who have destroyed 
the peace and happiness of those they loved, 
all for strong drink. These men vowed when 
at the marriage altar that they would "love, 
cherish and protect," and yet they seem to 
be unable to control themselves and to make 
their home over here a fit dwelling place for 
their families. 

My dear friends, the building of a home 
requires constant care. It requires patience 
and forbearance. It requires the highest 
order of government — which is granting to 
others the privileges you ask for yourself un- 
der like circumstances. To furnish food, 
clothing and shelter for wife and children 
and that alone, are not all the requirements 
of a home. You do the same for your hogs, 
cattle and horses. But the sunlight of love 
must shine around the home circle — brute 
fear must be banished — kindness must be 



UNCLE JONAS TALKS. 



9 1 



there — amusements must be tolerated and 
the little courtesies of life must not be neg- 
lected if our home over here is to be a fit 
dwelling place. Let greater care be taken 
to beautify this home. 




LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

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